This fits

Leaves Compared with Flowers -- Robert Frost

A tree's leaves may be ever so good,
So may its bark, so may its wood;
But unless you put the right thing to its root
It never will show much flower or fruit.

But I may be one who does not care
Ever to have tree bloom or bear.
Leaves for smooth and bark for rough,
Leaves and bark may be tree enough.

Some giant trees have bloom so small
They might as well have none at all.
Late in life I have come on fern.
Now lichens are due to have their turn.

I bade men tell me which in brief,
Which is fairer, flower or leaf.
They did not have the wit to say,
Leaves by night and flowers by day.

Leaves and bar, leaves and bark,
To lean against and hear in the dark.
Petals I may have once pursued.
Leaves are all my darker mood.

Early Autumn

It's only the first week of August, but there are signs. The giant Gingko tree is less green, the maples have a touch of fire on their crowns. We have heat in the day, but the shadows hold on to a chill. The chestnuts have started falling. In years past chestnut season coincided with the beginning of school, and signaled the true end of summer. This year we don't seem to have had a summer at all.

I don't suffer as much from winter depression, thanks to modern medications and full-spectrum lights. I do have a sense of something, a whistful feeling perhaps.  I miss. . .something.

Offer it up

Fr. Tony dropped by today. We talked our way into a discussion of suffering.  Suffering - "Offer it up" - what's the point of that?  Didn't Christ suffer sufficiently for us? How could there be anything left over, for St. Paul to say "I make up in myself what is lacking in the suffering of Christ?"

Yes, God Himself experienced ultimate, that is, complete suffering for the sake of our salvation.  Therefore, no deficiency exists and our salvation is assured.  Yet we still suffer, because we continue to live in the fallen world.

So, when we suffer, we have the choice of enduring it however we may, or we can take that suffering, that we will have not matter what, and ask God to accept it as a gift from us.

Jesus' Cross held the weight of all our sinfulness, and he carried it to completion.  Now, today, I experience some suffering.  I imagine it like this:  Jesus is staggering along, beaten and exhausted, with the burden of His Cross.  There is nothing that I can do to stop his suffering, for He has already completed it, and it had to happen that way for our Redemption.  And I come along, and have my suffering in my own time. And I say to Him, "Here, let me carry this with You, and keep you company."  I see Him pause a second and look at me with a smile, and that we go on together for as long as my suffering exists.

When Father Tony talks of Jesus, his face lights up. He looks as if he would embrace Christ on the cross, and take Him down and waltz with Him. He radiates great joy, even lightheartedness, yet I know he himself experiences great inner suffering.  I always pray for him to find peace.