Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
A year ago, first weekend in June
June 4, 2011: One year ago today. . .I cannot remember precisely, and that is the 'memory' to record. My boss had told me at the beginning of the week that my job had been eliminated, effective in one month. Through the week I had rotated around and down between relief and mild disorientation, and I reached that first weekend still feeling predominantly happy relief: I had an opportunity to walk away from an increasingly hostile work environment, not only avoiding the worst immediate consequences of unemployment but actually taking benefits with me: a month of unused-vacation pay plus twenty weeks' severance pay, with six month's career counseling thrown in to boot.
I knew even before this that my own responses did not sync with my those of others where I worked, and at this point it seemed natural to me that everyone else's reaction to my situation was out of step with my own. For myself, I felt a sense of freedom and success because 'they' had failed to fire me, an alternative I believe they would have preferred. I understood that others would not see things the same way at least at first, so I accepted the first sympathetic then bewildered responses from my colleagues. They did not at first understand my cheerfulness but, I felt, once I explained my situation they would relax and feel happy for me.
One year ago I spent the weekend at home, thinking I would allow myself to collapse and rest with the relief of a battle hard-fought but won. I went to my oldest daughter's 8th Grade Baccalaureate Mass and then her graduation ceremony, able to focus on her and this as-to-yet unsurpassed milestone. The Lord had indeed been at my side, I thought.
I knew even before this that my own responses did not sync with my those of others where I worked, and at this point it seemed natural to me that everyone else's reaction to my situation was out of step with my own. For myself, I felt a sense of freedom and success because 'they' had failed to fire me, an alternative I believe they would have preferred. I understood that others would not see things the same way at least at first, so I accepted the first sympathetic then bewildered responses from my colleagues. They did not at first understand my cheerfulness but, I felt, once I explained my situation they would relax and feel happy for me.
One year ago I spent the weekend at home, thinking I would allow myself to collapse and rest with the relief of a battle hard-fought but won. I went to my oldest daughter's 8th Grade Baccalaureate Mass and then her graduation ceremony, able to focus on her and this as-to-yet unsurpassed milestone. The Lord had indeed been at my side, I thought.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
My Work Life
I drop my two 12 year olds off at Catholic school. I don't start work until 8 but try to get there by 7:30, so that I can attend Mass at the church next door. If I don't make it by 7:30 I stop at the Monastery across the street for a few minutes of contemplation or prayer.
I sit down at the front desk in the lobby by 8. The director, Father George, gets to his office after morning prayers, usually by 9. I greeted him with a "Happy Feast of the Visitation" on June 1 - I like keeping track of Holy Days and Feast Days.
Father Kevin, our chaplain, comes in and reads the paper and we chat about the news. He's retired, and I've learned that means he's always busy, saying Mass for retired sisters, helping hear confessions for groups on retreat or Catholic school 2nd graders preparing for First Communion. He also knows all the old-time clergy in the area, and has lunch or dinner with retired monsignors and bishops. It's always nice to see him.
My work varies: I answer the phones, sort the mail, print and prepare mailings. I also research Catholic writers looking for titles to order for our bookstore, read EWTN News online, and listen to Gregorian chant, gospel singing, medieval Christmas music. I update mailing lists with the names of pastors, Catholic school principals, Religious Education directors. I order alter breads and communion wine for the Chapel, and paper and printer supplies for the office.
The Conference Coordinator reminds me to take breaks and lunch - 15 minute breaks and 30 minute lunch, no eating at the desk. I usually go outside for a walk, watch for birds, discover new flowers emerging or blooming. In March I found wide patches of violets intermingled with daisies in the lawn. Now summer flowers are blooming: roses in the sun and calla lilies in the shade, and fuchsia and geraniums in the small courtyard behind my desk.
I often see one or another of the three bunnies that live on the property. They are domestic but live uncaged; they have a burrow under the administration building. One of the facilities crew puts food out for them, and she showed me how to feed them rabbit treats. They actually come running when they hear the bag rattling, and I'm working on teaching them to come when I whistle, so that I don't have to spend so much looking for them.
The monastery bells ring at noon and I pause and pray the Angelus. The bells also ring at 9am and 3pm, and probably 6am and pm as well, but I'm not at work to hear them then. I leave at 4 precisely and pick up my girls, and the rest of the day is family time.
I sit down at the front desk in the lobby by 8. The director, Father George, gets to his office after morning prayers, usually by 9. I greeted him with a "Happy Feast of the Visitation" on June 1 - I like keeping track of Holy Days and Feast Days.
Father Kevin, our chaplain, comes in and reads the paper and we chat about the news. He's retired, and I've learned that means he's always busy, saying Mass for retired sisters, helping hear confessions for groups on retreat or Catholic school 2nd graders preparing for First Communion. He also knows all the old-time clergy in the area, and has lunch or dinner with retired monsignors and bishops. It's always nice to see him.
My work varies: I answer the phones, sort the mail, print and prepare mailings. I also research Catholic writers looking for titles to order for our bookstore, read EWTN News online, and listen to Gregorian chant, gospel singing, medieval Christmas music. I update mailing lists with the names of pastors, Catholic school principals, Religious Education directors. I order alter breads and communion wine for the Chapel, and paper and printer supplies for the office.
The Conference Coordinator reminds me to take breaks and lunch - 15 minute breaks and 30 minute lunch, no eating at the desk. I usually go outside for a walk, watch for birds, discover new flowers emerging or blooming. In March I found wide patches of violets intermingled with daisies in the lawn. Now summer flowers are blooming: roses in the sun and calla lilies in the shade, and fuchsia and geraniums in the small courtyard behind my desk.
I often see one or another of the three bunnies that live on the property. They are domestic but live uncaged; they have a burrow under the administration building. One of the facilities crew puts food out for them, and she showed me how to feed them rabbit treats. They actually come running when they hear the bag rattling, and I'm working on teaching them to come when I whistle, so that I don't have to spend so much looking for them.
The monastery bells ring at noon and I pause and pray the Angelus. The bells also ring at 9am and 3pm, and probably 6am and pm as well, but I'm not at work to hear them then. I leave at 4 precisely and pick up my girls, and the rest of the day is family time.
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