June 4, 2011: One year ago today. . .I cannot remember precisely, and that is the 'memory' to record. My boss had told me at the beginning of the week that my job had been eliminated, effective in one month. Through the week I had rotated around and down between relief and mild disorientation, and I reached that first weekend still feeling predominantly happy relief: I had an opportunity to walk away from an increasingly hostile work environment, not only avoiding the worst immediate consequences of unemployment but actually taking benefits with me: a month of unused-vacation pay plus twenty weeks' severance pay, with six month's career counseling thrown in to boot.
I knew even before this that my own responses did not sync with my those of others where I worked, and at this point it seemed natural to me that everyone else's reaction to my situation was out of step with my own. For myself, I felt a sense of freedom and success because 'they' had failed to fire me, an alternative I believe they would have preferred. I understood that others would not see things the same way at least at first, so I accepted the first sympathetic then bewildered responses from my colleagues. They did not at first understand my cheerfulness but, I felt, once I explained my situation they would relax and feel happy for me.
One year ago I spent the weekend at home, thinking I would allow myself to collapse and rest with the relief of a battle hard-fought but won. I went to my oldest daughter's 8th Grade Baccalaureate Mass and then her graduation ceremony, able to focus on her and this as-to-yet unsurpassed milestone. The Lord had indeed been at my side, I thought.
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