Goodbyes

My father died Wednesday morning, November 21, 2012.  Everyone said, "It was so fortunate you and [my oldest brother] were able to come out when you did!" When I booked the trip to see him, I just knew I was done waiting for an ideal time or worrying about getting a cheap fare. I flew in on Tuesday, went home on Saturday, and he died the next Wednesday.

I had a few very intense days there. I had that one last personal conversation with him, and the night before I left my three brothers and I had an incredible few hours with him, completely lucid, trying to play a particular YouTube recording.  He wanted to share it with us because it made him happy.  We finally succeeded by a group effort, with one monitor on the bed table, one brother on the wireless laptop, and another with the wireless mouse and a second monitor, all talking at once and somehow managing to locate and play the correct video:  The Features: Whatever Gets You By. The song in question is the first 2 minutes, he wasn't interested in the second song. But I rather like the way the heavy guitar lead in to the second song wraps up the light bounciness of the first song.

I sat in a chair close to the foot of the bed, reading a book while playing footsie with my dad. I'd poke the sole of his foot, he'd push back, while we each sat paying attention to other things.

When he began to tire, he called our attention back to the time, and mentioned that I had a flight to catch in the morning. I said it was just like a family gathering, including the classic "sending the youngest to bed first," except in my case I'm the second oldest, so it was clearly a case of sending the shortest.  We all laughed, with a little too much energy, and the party broke up.  Dad felt great, just tired, but said we should definitely all do this again soon.

I left the next morning early.  From what I hear he never really woke up after that.  And as I said, he died the next Wednesday.

It was a wonderful deathbed.